Kelsie+Facemyer

__ Life as a teenage girl __

I woke up in a cold sweat. I think I had a nightmare but I can’t remember. I turn to look at the clock thinking it was still the middle of the night, but it was 6:40. Shoot I’m late, why didn’t my alarm go off, I ask myself as I shot out of bed. As I run to the bathroom to get ready my mom yells “you’re late!” I already know I’m late I don’t understand why she has to remind me. I don’t have time to take a shower so I just pull my hair into a pony tail, wash my face, and brush my teeth. I run back into my room when I heard my ride honk. My mom yells again “your ride is here!” I hurried and threw on my clothes from three days ago, they still smelled ok. As I ran to Megan’s car I tripped. I really hope she didn’t see me but I know she did. As I got into her car she was laughing so hard I thought that she was going to pass out. “So, I texted Steve last night asking about you,” Megan said. My face got hot; I’ve had a crush on him for about four years, ever since I had to sit by him in eighth grade in Ms. Nielsen’s class. It was so embarrassing though when I was drinking a soda and he said something really funny to the kid on the other side and I laughed so hard that I spit my drink all over him. “Jen”, Megan yelled to me, “did you hear me? I said that I texted Steve last night.” “Oh” I said as i looked out the window trying to look like I didn’t care, even though I wanted to know so badly what he said. “What did he say?” I asked. “Nothing, he didn’t answer me.” She said in a chuckle. Oh my gosh this is so embarrassing, he probably thinks I’m a huge creep or something. “Oh well I don’t really care I don’t like him anymore anyways so it doesn’t matter”, I said as we were getting out of the car. There was Jeff getting out of his car, Megan ran over yelling “whatever I know you do!” as she leaped into his arms. As I walk into the school I ran into Joey. “Hey how are you today?” he asked. “Oh you know tired, sick of school and wanting to graduate.” “Same here, there is only one month left of school until we’re done. So are you going to Steve’s graduation party?” What he is having a party? How did I not know this he hates me, he hates me, he hates me. “Well I wasn’t invited so probably not” I said. “Everyone is invited so I hope you can come. Well here is my class I guess I’ll see you later then,” he said as he walked into his class. The bell rang and I started to run to class but I’m late. The intercom turns on and announces there will be a hall sweep. Great, just my luck first I’m not invited to Steve’s party and now a hall sweep. So I turned around and headed toward the lunch room. As I walked down the hall of shame toward the lunch room I turned around and saw Steve. He waved in my direction, I smiled and waved back. Then from behind me was Steve’s girlfriend, Mindy. My face went hot again, as she walked past me she whispered under her breath “loser.” How original, loser. I guess she saw me make a fool of myself, but really are we in junior high. As I walked into the lunch room I saw the vice principal handing out slips for detention. It felt like an hour standing in line waiting to get my ticket, because he had to lecture each and every one of us how education is important and how when we are late we are missing out on learning. Which I don’t understand because I probably would have just missed 30 seconds of precious learning time, but now I’m missing the whole class, which is ridiculous. Whatever though I hate my first period anyways because there is no one in it, and I hate everyone in there. I finally got my ticket when the bell rang for second. I stopped by my locker when Mindy came up to me. “Hey do you really think that Steve would ever notice you. You’re pathetic thinking he would. Um well can you stop having your friend text him by the way; it makes him feel really uncomfortable because he doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by calling you weird. Me on the other hand I don’t care so stay away from him you’re weird.” I froze up I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to cry and scream at the same time. I didn’t even want her to text him. The one minute bell rang; I slammed my locker and started to walk. When I walked into class I looked around me and saw all the seats in the back were taken, so I had to sit right in the front. The bell rang and the teacher stood up. He started talking about the first amendment. I couldn’t even pay attention I was so infuriated of what just happened. I started to think about ways I could get back at Mindy, to embarrass her. Maybe I could accidently spill my milk on her, or I could cut all her hair off. I think Steve wouldn’t want a girlfriend with boy hair, now would he. “Jen, Jennifer!” the teacher said in a loud voice. I looked up and the teacher was right in my face. I heard the class snickering behind me. “Yes”, I said annoyed. “I asked you a question Jennifer, what is the answer?” “Can you repeat the question?” “Why were you not paying attention, was I boring you?” “No Mr. Johnson I just didn’t understand what you said.” “Well let me ask the whole class the question, and see me after class Jennifer.” “Wow can you believe that Megan two detentions in one day.” There was no response I turned around and say here making lovey dovey faces at Jeff. “Megan!” I screamed in her face “are you even paying attention to me. I’m having the worst day and you’re not even listening to me.” “What, did you say something?” “Wow you’re unbelievable I’m going to get lunch and I’ll meet you at our table.” There is never anything good here the food they serve here isn’t even food. I guess I’ll just get the chicken and potatoes. “Jen”, I turned around and to my surprise it was Steve. Was I dreaming? I stood there dumbfounded just staring at him. I probably stared at him for a good thirty seconds, trying to figure out what to say, when I blurted out “hey!” did I say that too loud? “Hey… so you’re getting the chicken and potatoes I see,” he said. “Yup, it’s probably the only decent thing here.” “I know right I swear in the other line they are serving dog food.” I started to laugh but it wasn’t even that funny. That joke was more like a ha ha type of joke but not a hysterical laugh. I couldn’t stop though, it was Jr. High all over again, but at least I wasn’t drinking anything. I think I laughed too much I made him feel uncomfortable, because he kind of gave me the pity laugh. Thankfully though, it was my turn to get my food, so I grabbed it and left. “Are you not going to say goodbye?” he said as I started to walk away. “Oh goodbye I’ll see you later.” I went to sit next to Megan when Joey bumped into me. “Well I’m just running into you everywhere aren’t I? Hey do you want to sit with me?” Well I guess I don’t need to sit with Megan I bet she wouldn’t even notice if I did being so occupied with Jeff. “Sure, why not” I said. “So how has your day been so far?” he asked. “Well I got two detentions in one day if that explains anything? How about you?” “Oh that’s too bad well I’m having a pretty good day actually. Not trying to rub in your face but I got a 96% on my math test, and other pretty good things happened too.” “Like what?” “Like, I was able to eat lunch with you.” He said with a smile. “How is that good, I’m probably an embarrassment to you, and making your social life go down the drain as we speak?” “Well who cares what other people think, because I sure don’t.” “Well that’s good because if you did I bet we wouldn’t be friends, and I’m glad were friends.” Ring, ring, ring, “well there is the bell I better go so I’m not late and get another detention.” “Well it was nice eating lunch with you.” Joey said with a grin. “You too.” The last bell rang for the day, time for detention. I don’t think that detention would be so bad if Mindy wasn’t there giving me dirty looks the whole time. What can I do though, she hates me and she knows I have the biggest crush on Steve. Mindy used to not hate me; actually we used to be best friends. I guess she started hating me ever since 6th grade when I supposedly stole her guy that she liked. I didn’t even like him he liked me so how is that my fault. The vice principal started to go down the roll but when he got to Steve, he wasn’t here. I wonder where he is. I wish he was here, but then again I’m kind of glad he’s not, because then I won’t have to see him being flirty with Mindy. “There is no talking in detention, this isn’t social hour, so if I see anyone talking they will get another detention.” The vice principal said as he stared at the group of girls sitting in the back. Waiting for my mom to pick me up from detention I saw Steve, I wonder what he is doing here and why he didn’t go to detention. I watched him walk into the parking lot. He is so good looking he can have about any girl in the world and he chose Mindy. Mindy is probably the fakest girl in the world, and she is so stuck up. Why doesn’t he want me! I don’t understand it. Watching his like the creep I am I notice him getting in Lindsey’s car. I didn’t even know they were friends. Honk, honk, “Jen I’m here.” It was my mother. Why is she so embarrassing? Maybe this is why I have no friends. I ran over to the car to shut her up. As I jump in car she starts yelling at me for getting detention. I just ignore her though because when does she not yell at me. It’s always the same old stuff in the end. “You never clean your room, you never wash the dishes, how about you go get a job, you act like you’re in elementary because it always seems like I have to watch you.” Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it. The next day at school I ran into Steve at lunch again. I was a little more relaxed so I probably wasn’t that big of a nerd. “Hey Steve” I said nonchalantly, “so why didn’t you go to detention yesterday?” “Dang I totally forgot about it. I bet I’m going to get another one for not going.” “Well I have it to go again today so I’ll probably see you there.” “Probably”, he chuckled as grabbed his tray for lunch. “Hey so if you weren’t in detention yesterday what were you doing?” I asked hoping to get an answer like I was helping the special need, or assisting an older teacher. He looked like one of those guys that would do something like that. Before he could answer Mindy walked up and kind of stole him away from me. She probably gave me the dirtiest looks that a human could possibly give to another. I brushed it off though because I’m better than her. I went to sit down next to Megan to tell her, but she was sitting there making out with Jeff. She is a little gross, because why in the world would you make out in the middle of school while there are about a thousand of kids around you. Even though I sat by her I still felt like I was sitting by myself. I was so hungry though I didn’t even care. I started to stuff my face with the school food, as I did I noticed someone sit next to me. It was Joey, he probably noticed that I was alone and felt bad. “Hey Joey” I said with a mouth full of food and having it spray out of my mouth a little. I could then feel my face getting red, he started to laugh. “So how was detention?” he asked still having that after laugh, laugh. Finishing up the rest of the food in my mouth I respond, “Great fun”, I said sarcastically. “So what’s up with your friend over there?” he asked a little disgusted. “Just ignore them they are deeply in love.” I said with a chuckle. Over the past few weeks I’ve been talking to Joey a lot. He is a really nice guy I wonder why he doesn’t have a girlfriend, he’s one of those guys who could have any girl he wants. He’s a pretty good looking guy and he has a great personality. The funny thing is though is I don’t even think that Megan noticed I’ve been eating lunch with him. I don’t even care though because he is more fun to be around than her right now. “I can’t believe there is only one more week until we graduate!” I said all excitedly. “I know”, joey replied. There was a long pause. I’ve kind of noticed that Joey was acting a little off today like he had something on his mind. “So…” I said waiting for him to say something. And all he said was yup. There was definitely something on his mind. I was about to ask when the bell rang for class and it seemed like he sprinted to his class. It was like he was running from this awkward conversation. I wonder what he was thinking like he doesn’t want to be my friend anymore. Did I do something? I wondered this the whole day. I tried after school to find him but he wasn’t there. I guess I’ll just ask him tomorrow. Later that evening as I was on the computer I noticed that Joey was also on. I decided to talk to him, “so today was kind of weird wasn’t it?” I sent him. I waited. “kinda”, he replied. What does “kinda” mean, not really because it definitely was. “kinda? What does that mean?” “I don’t know”, he said. “Is there something you need to tell me? Did I do something to offend you if I did I’m sorry, but I don’t know what I did, if I did can you tell me?” I was a little hesitant sending this message because it seemed a little mean, but I want to know. I waited for about five minutes he didn’t respond, ten minutes nothing. I shouldn’t have asked now everything is even more awkward. “Never mind”, I decide to send after twenty minutes. Right after he sent a message, I opened it. “Can we meet to talk somewhere?” It’s kind of late I thought but I have to know what is up with him. “Sure where?” I sent back. “At the park?” he asked. “Ten minutes”, I said. I had to sneak out of my house because it was eleven at night. It’s kind of freaky outside at night when you are all alone, because there was no noise to block out the silence. As I reached the park I saw Joey swinging on the swing. I walked over there and sat next to him, and he didn’t say anything. I waited five minutes and still nothing. I didn’t want to beat around the bush so I had to ask, “So what’s up? What did you need to talk to me about?” He breathed in deeply and said “I really like spending time with you and being your friend but” he paused. But what, but you are really annoying, but you are weird what is it! He took another deep breath “but, I don’t want to be friends, I don’t want to be that guy that you tell who your crush is.” What is this, what is he saying he doesn’t want to be my friend. “I want to be more than just friend I want to be your boyfriend, I really like you.” I didn’t know what to say, I had no idea he liked me that way. I sat bewildered. “I, I got to go”, I said. The next day at school was a little awkward. I didn’t mean to blow him off last night. It was a little rude ignoring the question he asked, but I just didn’t know what to do. I wanted to tell Megan but she was all upset that she and Jeff broke up. Well actually Jeff was cheating on her and she caught him, but the thing was we all kind of knew he was up to something because he would never hang out to long with us. At lunch waiting in line Steve walks up to me, “hey Steve what’s up?” I say. “Not too much I’m just coming to tell you that I’m having a graduation party the night we graduate if you want to come?” “Sure that sounds like fun”, I say all excited because he actually noticed me and considered us good enough friends to invite me to his party (even though everyone is invited). “Can’t wait to see you there” he said walking away. I walk over to Megan, she calmed down from this morning. “Was that Steve I saw you talking to?” she asked. “Yeah he just asked me to his graduation party.” “Well are you going to go?” “I’ll only go if you go.” “I don’t know”, Megan said hesitantly. “It will be good for you; it will help you get your mind of Jeff.” “Alright, alright I’ll go.” I’m kind of excited for this party even though Mindy will be there but I don’t think she can ruin my mood. As I thought that I see Joey walk past me he didn’t even look at me. I probably should talk to him, but I just don’t know what to say. Party night. School if finally over, it has been a one crazy year for me as I think back. I look at the clock its 5:30 Megan should be here by now. Well she is always late. I start to do my hair when I hear “Jennifer! Megan’s here”, my mom yells. “Alright I’m in my room.” Megan walks in already dressed up. “I thought we were getting ready together? Oh well I guess then just pick out something for me to wear” I say irritated. It’s about 6:30 now we are almost about ready to leave, when my mom stops us at the door wanting to take pictures. We took pictures and off we left. When we got to the party we saw Jeff, he was all alone. He came up to Megan and apologized for what he had done, if it was me I wouldn’t have taken him back but not Megan. She forgave him and jumped right back into his arms. I ended up walking into his house by myself. When I got inside Steve greeted me with a hug! Can you believe that? He then told me to come upstairs with him. I was a little confused though he wanted to talk to me, I wonder what about. When we got upstairs away from everyone he grabbed me and started kissing me. What is going on I thought? I always wanted to kiss him but not like this, he has a girlfriend. Even though I absolutely loathe her I couldn’t do it. I pulled away and ran downstairs; I started to cry I can’t believe he is that kind of guy. How could I not see this? I ran outside and I accidently ran into Joey. He held me in his arms comforting me as I cried. I didn’t want to tell him what had happened, it was too awkward and embarrassing. I then new that Joey was the right guy for me how could I be so blind, I guess I was so distracted with Steve that I couldn’t see that Joey was right in front of me. I stopped crying and looked up at him and said,” Yes.” “What?” he asked confused. “Yes I will be your girlfriend.” Joey was shocked but then at that time Mindy came running out of the door screaming at Steve. I guess he was cheating on her with Lindsey. Joey and I started to laugh a little, but then we stared into each other’s eyes and he leaned in and kissed me.

__Confusion with Love__ For me some nights to keep their memory

And crawl inside my bed. A rough day, I remark,

Sleepless I stare all night long

Her parents destroyed, that’s all I think of

We lay red roses on their grave

Dark to see the angels take them away

Behind us, beyond us now that’s all to think of

Say I love you to your loved ones

We must not be frightened nor cajoled

The greyblack vultures encircle us

The very sunlight here seems flammable I remembered

But summer was, they said, the poor folks’ time

I watch a moment, then move on,

He fell before but this time was saved

Know that love has chosen you.

__Hope__

Trying to go through life

But people push you down

Not knowing what to do

So you keep getting stepped on

You want this to stop

But you don’t know how to stop this

All you want to do is scream

But nothing comes out

Someone stops and notices you

They reach out their hand to help

you look in their eye and think

there are still some people who care