Michael+Retzlaff

Shakespearean Commingling

O learn to read what silent love hath writ, As thus, mine eye's due is thy outward part, To hear with eyes belongs to love's fine wit. And my heart's right, thy inward love of heart. Incapable of more, replete with you, But what's so blessed-fair that fears no blot? My most true mind thus maketh mine untrue. Thou mayst be false, and yet I know it not. Love is a babe, then might I not say so Therefore I lie with her, and she with me, To give full growth to that which still doth grow. And in our faults by lies we flattered be. Or if they sleep, thy picture in my sight Awakes my heart, to heart's and eye's delight.

Lady from Dubuque

<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">It is how I dress, <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Exaggeratedly mocking, <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">“You’re shouting. Who am I?” <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Clearly you have confused your mind <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">With anger through fatigue. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">“Can they doubt me? How can they doubt me?” <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background-color: #000000; color: #000000; font-size: 16px; text-decoration: line-through; vertical-align: baseline;">Fuck off. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Be gentle. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Black is not white. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">WHAT ARE YOU? <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">“To the audience, nothing.” <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">I warn you, <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">He doubts you. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">He doubts her. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">No? <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">Congratulations.

<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: serif; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">The Elevator

<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> My sole purpose in the day was to find an occupation that would fit the skills of an ex-magician manager. The problem was that the magician I was managing had locked himself in a box, stating profusely that he would escape within 24 hours. After 25 hours, the crew and myself grew very concerned, but he had told me prior to the trick that under no circumstances was I to open the box, and that if I did he would fire me on the spot, (there was also a contract involved,) so I ordered the crew to leave well enough alone. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> It has been roughly 2 months since that time, and the box has been left unopened by me, the crew, or my magician. Not wanting to risk opening the box and face the disgrace of being fired, I have left the box alone. I am fairly certain that he is dead, but I cling to the fear that he is still alive, and that if I open the box and find out that he is dead, I would be in effect murdering the possibility that he is still alive. And so, it still sits unmoving and unopened, and will most likely remain this way for the rest of eternity. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> As a result of this, I am in the process of looking for a new job. I was led to the unemployment offices of New York, a high-rise skyscraper featuring a new invention called the elevator, a contraption that uses a pulley system transport a box full of people up and down to reach different levels of the building without employing the use or necessity of the stairs. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> Seeing no reason to waste time, I immediately walked to the offices and waited in the foyer. It is a fairly quiet atmosphere, with a distinctly sweet smell that contrasts the smoggy nature of the outside air. On the wall are several abstract paintings, full of brightly painted shapes, lines, and objects. I’ve never taken much of a liking to that sort of “art” (if it can even be called art.) I much prefer landscapes, and deeply emotional pieces with heavy contrasts of light and darkness. They make me feel at home, almost like a mirror into my own mind and how I perceive the world. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> Nevertheless, I made my way past the balloon sellers and hot dog stands in the foyer to the front desk, which was littered with used papers that I assume once held hot dogs, as they were covered with grease and condiments. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> “How can I help you, hon?” the woman at the front desk asked. Her face was covered in an uncomfortable amount of makeup, which had actually began to form new curves and ridges, as if she wanted to change the shape of her head by caking oils and powders onto her face. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> “Uh-um…” I stuttered. I do that often when I am focused on an aspect of the person I am talking to, rather than the person themselves and what they are saying. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> “You here for a job?” She had a thick Brooklyn accent. “You need some papers?” <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> “Uh…yeah.” I replied, still fascinated at the pale appearance of her skin. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> “Here ya’ go, hon.” She handed me a stack of papers. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> “I have to fill this whole thing out?” I asked. The papers were like a screen play. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> “Hon, this is just my day job. Just fill out the forms and go to Mr. Petruni’s office, okay?” It’s on the 42<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 13px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: super;">nd floor. You can use the new elevator, if you want. Have a nice day!” she waved her hand up in the air as I walked back into the foyer and sat in a big yellow chair. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> The papers weren’t filled with any words. The majority of the stack was just blank sheets of white paper. I looked back at the woman from the desk. She waved at me again, and gave me an inviting smile that sent shivers down my spine. I sifted through the papers until I reached the very end, where on the bottom of the last page read, “If you agree to the terms listed above, sign here.” <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> Seeing no reason not to sign, I grabbed a pen and signed my name. As I admired my signature, (which I have put countless hours into,) I realized that I still had to go see Mr. Petruni. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> I stood up with great effort, as my body had sunk into the chair as I sat. My right foot had fallen asleep, so I wobbled through the foyer and eventually reached the elevator. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> Ever since the city started producing these high-rise buildings, which were being referred to as “skyscrapers,” these elevators were becoming more and more prominent. Ever since the accident with the magician, I’ve been weary of climbing into small metal boxes, but I couldn’t find a staircase, so I rendered my fear as irrational and pressed the arrow that pointed up. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> The door immediately opened, and I was confronted by a bellhop who welcomed me in with a gesture and a smile. He was wearing a sign that read, “Please do not speak to the bellhop.” <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> Willing to abide, I nodded my head and stepped inside. The doors closed behind me, and the bellhop pulled a lever that started the elevator, which produced a discomforting rumble. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> There was a speaker in the elevator that was playing soft, irritating music. As I stood there annoyed, I suddenly realized that I hadn’t told the bellhop which floor I needed. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> “Floor 42, please. Mr. Petruni’s office.” <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> The bellhop raised his gloved hand with a pointed finger up to his mouth, tapped slowly, and smiled. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> “How did you-?” <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> The bellhop tapped the sign that hung around his neck. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> “But-“ <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> He tapped harder this time, and gave me a stern gaze. I decided to leave well enough alone and attempt to enjoy the ride. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> I became aware of the music once again, and grew more frustrated with the constant repeats of each short phrase. I tapped the floor of the elevator with my foot, trying to remember a different song to get stuck in my head that I hoped would drown out the sound of the elevator’s speakers. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> “Are we almost there?” I asked, breaking the silence once again. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> The bellhop looked at me, and pulled the sign up to my face. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> “Please do not speak to the bellhop,” I read aloud, “Why can’t I speak?” <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> The bellhop lowered the sign and looked at me once again. I stared back at him, and I momentarily saw a flash of a smile in his eyes. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> “What?” I asked. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> The bellhop responded by driving a cane into my foot, and tapped the sign with his free hand. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> “Ow!” I screamed, holding my foot with my hand. “What’d you do that for?” <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> The bellhop drove the cane into my other foot. Not seeking other injury, I bit my lip to keep from speaking. I set my foot down and attempted to bear the stinging pain coming from my feet. I looked around. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> The elevator box was very tall, and I noticed a large chandelier hanging from the ceiling. It seemed to light the entire box fairly well, but it also seemed like an intensely arbitrary addition to a simple elevator. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> The walls were carpeted with a red paisley design, which continued up to the ceiling. The only part of the elevator not carpeted were the doors, which were silver, and the floor, which was made of a lacquered hardwood. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> I looked at my watch. I’d been in here for what had been nearly ten minutes. The pain in my feet had subsided itself to a dull throb, but not wishing to further antagonize the bellhop, I kept my mouth shut about the time. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> I began to whistle. The bellhop looked at me again, and I immediately stopped for fear of injury. He shrugged his shoulders and looked back at the metal doors. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> Without warning, I began to weep. Tears flowed from my eyes and I curled myself into a fetal position on the floor. The bellhop smiled and looked down at me. He grabbed my stack of papers and leafed through until he found the last page, where he admired the signature and laughed to himself. He pulled a violin and a bow from his enormous coat and began to play long, melodious tones. <span style="background-color: transparent; color: #000000; font-family: 'Times New Roman','serif'; font-size: 16px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;">It was then I realized that I was never getting out of here.